Saturday, October 7, 2017

Saturday



Sometimes I let a silly remark ruin my day.

I went for a work lunch, there were seven women all 5-15 years younger then me. One of them was highly pregnant and I met a new girl that will replace her for a year.

I was the only one that did not know the new girl and I had met the pregnant one only twice before.

So I used opportunity to congratulate both of them - one for getting a new job, the other for a beautiful reason why she is leaving the company for a year.

The pregnant one replied: "You can congratulate me when this one comes out. For now there is no reason for congratulations - everybody can get pregnant. The problem is how to push the baby out!"

All of them laughed.

I guess it is funny. When you equal getting pregnant = sleeping with a man and when it happens as soon as you wish it to happen, yes, then it is funny. Otherwise not.

I try not to let silly people ruin my day. That stupid woman did ruin it, luckily only for one day.

Today I had a therapeutic walk & talk date with my beloved dog and with a friend of mine (who is childless because she never found the love of her life).  I made this photo on our walk through the forest, it was just lovely.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

The desire to have a child never goes away

I loved this article:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/oct/02/the-desire-to-have-a-child-never-goes-away-how-the-involuntarily-childless-are-forming-a-new-movement

I love when an article like that inspires discussions all around our beautiful blogging community:

http://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.si/2017/10/childless-articles-and-their-comments.html

https://differentshores.com/2017/10/03/the-desire-to-have-a-child-never-goes-away/  

https://inconceivable.wordpress.com/2017/10/03/i-am-the-one-in-4/


The ending of the article is just brilliant:
“Surely a mother is more than someone who has children? And I’m more than someone who doesn’t.”

Exactly! That's why I like to write on my blog also about other things. I am so much more then just a childless woman!

I am for example also a woman who loves to learn and discover new things. For example - I learnt  that this is one of favourite songs of the little princess from France. It is beautiful:


I love listening to music.




Wednesday, October 4, 2017

What the internet can do!




















I am back from beautiful Paris. Everything was just perfect (I only wish I didn't have to work, so I could have more time for sightseeing).

Highlight of Paris was meeting a friend of mine that I met through blogging.
(this is what I wrote after our first meeting in the winter:
https://thenext15000days.blogspot.si/2017/02/meeting-beautiful-little-princess-and.html )

I loved having lunch with her and an afternoon walk through the city on the first day. And I loved the evening spent with her family on my last day. It was awesome to be able to speak French with the little girl. I understand a lot of French, but I can not speak - only the basic. The little girl is so clever - she understood my French completely!

When saying goodbye to Kaymet she said: "What the internet can do!".
Yes, indeed!


Saturday, September 23, 2017

Good bye for a while

I don't have any time for writing and I have an excellent excuse: I am packing for another trip, this time I am taking the plane.

I am meeting a dear friend that I met through my blog. Can't wait to meet her again!

Will be back in 10 days with lots of lovely photos :)

Monday, September 18, 2017

The best things in life ...

One of the best silver linings of my infertility is connecting with kind souls all around the world. I met this week already my 4th bloggie friend! And she is all the way from Australia.

It was awesome - we spent one day in our capital: 


And few days later I drove to Italy, to meet them in this city:


My friend was travelling with her mom and siblings. It was touching to see how kindly the children (who are around my age) are looking after their mother. My new friend and me didn't have a lot of time where we could talk alone - but we did agree that we have to travel now since there won't be anybody to travel with us when we are old.

We saw somewhere this sentence:
and we all agreed.







Sunday, September 17, 2017

Rolling Stones



My husband and I had just a perfect day in Austria yesterday. We were at the Rolling Stones' concert. It was awesome!

How do I admire them for their zest for life, despite being 70+.   

How great it felt singing with them those lines: 

They are so very true!  My life isn't as planned, but I love it anyway. I have to make the most out of it.




Sunday, September 10, 2017

Bad karma?

There is a really nice couple our age that I met through husband's work. I want to make a long story short, so I will tell you only that they did something really kind for us (that not many people would do).  I am sure we could become friends if they didn't get their first child very soon after we met.

You know how it goes. I was very happy for them - they were almost 40 and got a beautiful healthy baby boy (and sad for us at the same time). We sent a card with a small gift to congratulate for the baby.  But I never saw a child. Once they visited us (they live in neighbouring country, 6 hours driving for us) - but there was only my husband to host them, I was on one of the business trips (and to be frank, I was glad I could avoid meeting them with a baby). When visiting, they told my husband that they are expecting the second child.

We never got the birth announcement for the second child, but since we weren't in contact any more, I didn't think it was strange.

Then, almost two years later we needed some advice regarding building the house so I wrote to him. I started an email by how are they doing and if I may ask - did the first boy got a little brother or a sister?

I got back immediately a reply: "yes, our son got a little brother.  But he was born with (name of disease) so he never even got the chance to leave the hospital. He died in our hands when he was two months old."

When I read the email, I started to cry. I just couldn't stop. I was so sorry for the little baby boy who didn't even have the chance to live. I was sorry for his parents. I was sorry for their first son who will never have a sibling. And I was sorry for us two - infertility took from us possibility to  make & keep new friendships.

Later that day I met a friend very close to me and I told her the story.

She (mother of two) said: Yes, it is sad. But I guess they just have bad karma and they had to pay.

I was furious, what bad karma??

She explained that she truly believes that in their previous lives they had to do something bad and had to pay in this life.

I remained speechless.  I don't believe in nonsense like that.

My friend had cried with me and for me - during the horrible years of all the failed IVFs.

Later that day I realized that she probably thinks that my infertility is punishment for something I did in my previous life.  Just plain silly. I did not have a previous life. And I did nothing bad in this life.